The modern dating game has become fairly complicated, with new issues like gaslighting, ghosting, breadcrumbing, etc, becoming commonplace. Trying to navigate this space can sometimes feel overwhelming, causing many people to jump in and out of dating frequently. However, communicating, knowing how to date, and learning about common mistakes people make while dating and how to avoid them can help people protect themselves from heartbreak and make this process much easier.
Considering one’s partner as a therapist
Many people get too carried away upon meeting a new potential partner and share much personal information to forge a connection. While this excitement is understandable, one must know where to draw the line.
The fix? Don’t share too many details and expect quick solutions from the new partner. This is sure to backfire and scare them away. Instead, focus entirely on being natural and candid during conversations. Aim for a balance between vulnerable and mature to start the relationship on the right foot.
Posting frequently on social media
The lure of social media is undeniable. From soft launching one’s partner to a dedicated reveal, there are lots of techniques used to announce one’s partner online. While a one-off post showcasing a fun date venue or a new activity/interest is probably okay, some people tend to go overboard, posting every little detail on social media.
Not only does this add a lot of pressure to a new relationship, but it can also be off-putting for one’s partner, especially if they prefer keeping things private. It also comes across as needy, desperate, and seeking attention. The best way to steer clear of this is to keep one’s relationship private until it is well-established.
Ignoring red flags
Unfortunately, there are many toxic people in the dating scene. When starting a relationship, one must be wary of any red flags on display and not try to brush them under the carpet. For instance, if one notices extreme waves of anger or behavior that don’t align with what they say, it may be time to get off that sinking ship. It’s a sign that the other person needs to work on themselves to be better partners.
Accepting red flags or bad behavior at the beginning of a new relationship will also set the tone for the future, so it’s best to analyze what one is willing to compromise on, validate one’s feelings, and set healthy habits for one’s time together.
Being too caught up in the past
Everyone has a history. However, bringing old baggage into a new relationship can be detrimental to everyone involved and drive potential partners away. Of course, it’s natural to fear old patterns repeating. However, these insecurities should not be projected onto another person.
The best way to deal with this is to communicate openly and honestly with each other. If comfortable, share details of what happened in the past. Use this to establish certain boundaries and mutually decide how the relationship will move forward.
Spending every moment together
Some people jump into new relationships with everything they have, often getting lost in the process or losing their individuality. They also stop connecting with their friends or making time for them, which could further exacerbate this problem.
While the butterflies of a new relationship may compel one to spend as much time together as possible, one must not forget about self-care, alone time, work, hobbies, and other loved ones. Without these aspects of one’s life, there is a looming danger of becoming overly dependent or involved in the partner’s life, which can cause a lot of tension and frustration and lead to an inevitable breakup.
Hiding oneself behind a mask
To truly get to know someone and check compatibility, one must be one’s true self. This may mean making mistakes at times and accepting each other’s flaws wholeheartedly. These will present an opportunity for learning and growth and may even bring two partners closer together.
With a mask, however, people try to create the facade that everything is okay, skirting around issues. It will build up resentment over time and take away the chance for partners to resolve conflicts amicably and support each other on this beautiful journey. The solution is simple. Be candid about one’s opinions but also open to listening to other perspectives or opinions and sensibly address concerns and discuss them.
